What Am I Afraid Of?

I'm afraid of lizard (壁虎), I'm afraid of losing (kiasu). I'm afraid of betrayal. But none other than that, I'm afraid of losing friends.

After reading his blog, topic "Random", I have admitted what I did was wrong. Finally, I have the guts to find him to solve this problem. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I must settle with him once and for all. I cannot afford losing this friend just like that. I'm here to announce that I did wrongly.

These nights, I kept dreaming about the time he forgives me, which is the forgiveness I hunger for the most. The craziness & happiness & friendshipness & trust between me and him for the past 2 years till August was memorable.

I'm here to admit that I have did wrong, I really do. I don't know whether he will read my blog or not, and won't urge him to see my blog. I want to speak with him personally. I must face his wrath. I don't know he will forgive me or not. As long as I say out what has been hidden inside my hearts for 2 months, that's it. Thank you for helping me to get the printing manager post, yet I betrayed you. Maybe some say that I deserved this, I'm dai sei for it. So true, I deserved that. Maybe some say I don't deserve forgiveness. So true, I don't deserve that.


I feel so relieved now. I'm here to say I'm sorry. I really do. But, it's too late to apologize...